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BATMAN:
THE VEHICLES
A User's Guide
(Originally
published in Hotdog, July 2005)
Vehicle:
The “Classic” Batmobile
(Batman: The Movie (1967))
Sales Pitch: For the lycra-clad crime fighter who
has everything… A sleek, atomic-battery-powered super-vehicle,
this comes complete with parachute brakes, onboard tracking system
and a Bat-phone for taking those all-important calls from Comissioner
Gordon.
Special Weapons: Rear-mounted Oil Squirters and
Nail Spreaders, a front-mounted Chain-slicer, and a pair of handy
ejector seats to dispose of anyone foolish enough to try stealing
it.
Bat-Strengths: The combination of Bat-logos and
Retro-chic strikes fear (and confusion) into the heart of criminals.
Bat-Weaknesses: The side doors refuse to open,
meaning unfit costumed vigilantes need not apply.
Under the Hood: Originally created for the Batman
TV series, the original Batmobile was assembled by “Custom
Car King” and designer George Barris. Working on a budget
of $30,000 dollars, Barris converted an experimental 1954 Lincoln
Futura concept car that had already featured in the 1959 movie It
Started With A Kiss. He also worked in echoes of Batman creator
Bob Kane’s Batmobile designs from the comics, and the end
result went on to become probably the most iconic super-vehicle
ever created.
Vehicle:
The “Movie” Batmobile
(Batman (1989), Batman Returns (1992), Batman Forever (1995), Batman
and Robin (1997)
Sales Pitch: Question: What is the stylish, fetish-inclined
vigilante-around-town driving this season? Answer: A vehicle with
sexy curves, bullet-proof armour, and the traditional “big-ass
flaming rear booster”. 100% guaranteed to net you Kim Basinger’s
personal number or your money back.
Special Weapons: Grappling hooks for 90 degree
turns, a pair of high-powered machine guns, and a large spherical
explosive charge that always drops out at the least convenient moment
for criminals.
Bat-Strengths: It’s manoeuvrable, remote-controlled,
and- as Batman himself later admits- “Chicks dig the car.”
Bat-Weaknesses: The Security System could use an
upgrade, with the Penguin hacking the car and giving Bruce Wayne
an unexpected road trip in Batman Returns.
Under the Hood: The updated Batmobile was dreamed
up by designer Anton Furst, and purpose-built by special effects
man John Evans as a fibreglass body wrapped around a chunky jet
turbine. A major redesign was threatened when Joel Shumacher came
onboard for Batman Forever, with Alien designer and all-round nutcase
H.R. Giger submitting a radically organic, X-shaped version of the
Batmobile. Instead, all we got was an upgrade of the original design
with some incredibly camp spikes, which proceeded to get even camper
once Batman and Robin hit in 1997.
Vehicle: The Batboat
(Batman: The Movie (1967), Batman Forever (1995))
Sales Pitch: Soar across the ocean waves in the
patented Batboat. Whether you’re tackling sea-based foes,
evading torpedoes or simply investigating a mysterious Navigation
buoy, the Batboat offers speed, reliability and a very large fin.
Special Weapons: An onboard Bat-Charge Launcher,
for firing Bat-Charges at nefarious underwater villains.
Bat-Strengths: It’s the perfect weapon for
the Dynamic Duo to foil the evil “United Underworld”
and their camp penguin-esque submarine.
Bat-Weaknesses: That rear fin is, to be honest,
incredibly silly…
Under the Hood: The original Batboat was a specially
constructed speedboat built for the movie by the Glastron boat corporation,
in exchange for the film’s World Premiere being held at Glastron’s
headquarters in Austin, Texas. The Batboat was briefly resurrected
in a toned-down, darker style for Batman Forever, but, as with most
Nineties Batman vehicles, got blown up after about two minutes.
Vehicle: The Batwing
(Batman (1989), Batman Forever (1995))
Sales Pitch: Take to the skies in the ultimate
in slick and sexy crime-fighting aircraft- the perfect choice for
the airborne vigilante, whether you’re out to battle evil
or just wreck the local Giant Balloon parade.
Special Weapons: Onboard missile systems with appalling
aim, and an exciting combination of grappling hook and scissors
for slicing balloon wires.
Bat-Strengths: It’s the funkiest aircraft
on Earth, and it’s great for making impromptu Bat-signals
against a full moon.
Bat-Weaknesses: Unfortunately, it’s not actually
bulletproof…
Under the Hood: Another addition from Anton Furst,
the Batwing plane was realised with the help of model-making supremo
and Bond movie veteran Derek Meddings. It played a significant role
in the brilliantly stylised 1990s Batman Animated series, and was
briefly resurrected for Batman Forever in 1995, lasting even less
screen time than its first appearance before being unceremoniously
shot down.
Vehicle: The Batcycle
(Batman: The Movie (1967))
Sales Pitch: For those with a desire to really
impress the local biker chicks, the Batcycle offers speed, mobility,
and the ability to send your crime-fighting partner off on the detachable
sidecar. Be the envy of Gotham City!
Special Weapons: None, save for it’s truly
insane appearance.
Bat-Strengths: It conceals itself magnificently behind clumps of
foliage.
Bat-Weaknesses: The detachable sidecar may be cool,
but it’s also almost impossible to control.
Under the Hood: The Bat-Cycle originally turned
up in the TV series as an everyday Harley Davison with Sidecar for
one episode, but received a major upgrade for the movie. Dan Dempski,
one of the mechanics working for Batmobile creator George Barris,
was the creator of the Batcycle along with designer Tom Daniel,
and converted it from a Yamaha Catalina 250 motorcycle.
Vehicle: The Batcopter
(Batman: The Movie (1967))
Sales Pitch: Who hasn’t dreamed of owning
a Helicopter that resembles a Bat? Now, your superheroic arsenal
of vehicles can be complete with this dashing Bat-Copter that comes
complete with handy canisters of Shark Repellant Bat-Spray for tackling
hungry sea-creatures.
Special Weapons: None, but it does feature a Bat-Ladder
(with handy “Bat-Ladder” sign for easy identification).
Bat-Strengths: It’s great for tracking criminals
and attempting to board non-existent boats.
Bat-Weaknesses: Unfortunately, it gets knocked
out of the sky by a Polaris missile, and only landing in a nearby
foam-rubber convention saves the Dynamic Duo.
Under the Hood: The only onscreen Batman vehicle
to not be custom-built or extensively converted, the Bat-Copter
was a 1964 model Bell Helicopter painted red for the occasion. The
“Bat-wings” were formed from a tubular frame covered
in canvas, but they also reduced the helicopter’s power by
40-50%, making it incredibly difficult to fly, and meaning the 1967
movie remained the Bat-Copter’s sole screen flight.
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