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GODSEND
Starring:
Greg Kinnear, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Robert DeNiro
Directed by: Nick Hamm
Running Time: 103 minutes Released: 2nd July 2004
Reviewer: Saxon Bullock
Where
would horror films be without creepy children?
There’s something about a menacing, blank-faced
kid hiding an axe behind his back while saying
“Yes, mommy, everything’s fine!”
that has any right thinking audiences squirming
with dread. It’s also, however, a trick
that’s been pulled many times before- and
GODSEND can’t inject enough life into the
idea to prevent itself from looking tired, uninspired
and frequently very silly indeed.
The set-up is intriguing, with recently bereaved
parents Greg Kinnear and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos
being offered a chance to clone their dead son
Adam by shady research scientist Robert DeNiro.
Of course it’s morally wrong as well as
completely illegal;- so they do it anyway, the
process is successful, and for a few years they
raise their duplicate child in peace. It’s
only when Adam 2.0 hits his eighth birthday- the
point of the original’s death- that things
suddenly go pear shaped, as he begins hallucinating,
behaving violently and answering to the name of
Zachary…
Once again, the “Don’t Play God”
ethical debate is given an airing, but this is
really just a collection of mildly effective scares
welded together by a plot that gets ever-more
far fetched by the minute. As with teen horror
flick THE HOLE, Brit director Nick Hamm is good
at creepy set-pieces but can’t hold a film
together to save his life, and certainly can’t
tempt any more than another dialled-in performance
from the sleepwalking DeNiro. At the other end
of the spectrum, both Kinnear and the surprisingly
impressive Romijn-Stamos act their hearts out
as the distraught parents desperate for a chance
to get their son back. Emotive and affecting,
they’re the only element that keeps the
film watchable when it finally descends into all-out
gothic silliness, peaking in a daft “twist”
ending that should have been left on the cutting
room floor..
Rating:
* *
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GOTHIKA
DVD
AND VIDEO RELEASE
2004 Dir: Matthew
Starring: Halle Berry, Robert Downey Jnr, Penelope
Cruz
Certificate: 15 Running Time: 98 minutes
RRP: DVD- £19.99 Video-
Reviewer: Saxon Bullock
Crashes
of lightning. OTT set design. Women shrieking.
Yes, it’s time for the annual botched scare-fest
from Joel Silver and Robert Zemeckis’ horror
film company Dark Castle, only this time there’s
the whiff of seriousness in the air. Along with
a well-reviewed European director at the helm,
there’s an Oscar-winning star in Halle Berry,
as well as a high-calibre supporting cast- and
yet, GOTHIKA still manages to be nothing but hilariously
overblown shlock of the highest order.
The intial set-up is actually quite promising,
ripping off Hitchcock’s SPELLBOUND with
Berry as a frigid criminal psychologist who firmly
believes in a rational universe. Ten minutes and
one ghostly encounter later, she’s waking
up to find herself locked up in her own asylumn
and accused of a murder she doesn’t remember
comitting. Who’s the spectral figure who
keeps messing with the lights? Is co-worker Robert
Downey Jnr. as innocent as he appears? And why
does every dramatic incident get accompanied by
a raging thunderstorm?
The garbled screenplay tries to look at the borders
between madness and sanity, but essentially this
is an incomprehensible compilation of scary moments
from other, better movies. It’s the kind
of film where a ghost tries enlisting the help
of the main character by inexplicably attacking
her and driving her to the edge of madness, while
director Kaussovitz throws in plenty of loud noises
in the forlorn hope it’ll distract people
from the shaky plot.
Even a final shift into grungy serial killer-style
murder mystery can’t save the day, and Oscar-winner
Berry gives a howlingly bad performance, spending
most of the film screaming incoherently or wearing
an overdone “startled fawn” expression.
One day, Hollywood may remember that scary doesn’t
have to equal stupid- but judging by GOTHIKA,
there’s a long way to go….
Rating:
* *
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HIDE AND SEEK
Cast:
Robert DeNiro, Dakota Fanning, Famke Jannsen,
Elisabeth Shue
Director: John Polson
Running Time: 107 minutes Released: 11th February
2005
Reviewer: Saxon Bullock
Apparently,
one “creepy kid” movie on Robert DeNiro’s
CV just wasn’t enough. You’d have
thought the failure of Godsend would have sounded
the warning signs, but the man once referred to
as the Greatest Actor on the Planet is continuing
his bizarre quest to give as many bland, mediocre
performances as he can. The latest downturn in
his career comes thanks to Hide And Seek, but
even without DeNiro’s sleepwalking presence,
this dreary horror flick would still be an insipid,
stuttering misfire.
After a blood-soaked prologue, the story follows
psychologist David Callaway (DeNiro) as he moves
to a small town with his traumatised ten-year-old
daughter Emily (Fanning), so they can both get
over his wife’s sudden suicide. When Emily
acquires an imaginary friend named Charlie, it
looks like it’s just something she’s
using to get over her grief- until her behaviour
start taking on a sinister edge. Soon, it’s
fairly clear that this imaginary friend is both
very real and very dangerous…
For the most part, this plays like typical overblown
melodrama, complete with creepy, over-attentive
neighbours, a gruff local sherrif, and lots of
annoying psychobabble. Director John Polson tries
turning up the scare quotient with shots of people
creeping along dark corridors, but none of the
adult performers seem to have their hearts in
it, all giving routine “Can I have my paycheque
now, please?” turns. The only person worth
watching is the scarily confidant Dakota Fanning,
leaving behind her usual super-wise moppet persona
and managing an affecting portrayal of a confused,
heartbroken and seriously messed-up kid without
sinking into “creepy horror child”
cliches.
Unfortunately, despite the occasionally intriguing
red herrings the screenplay throws into the mix,
the movie’s success hinges on that final
revelation of the truth behind Charlie- and it’s
a laughable and unconvincing twist that anyone
who’s watched Secret Window will find worryingly
familiar. All that’s left is lots of running
around, leaping out from behind doors, and shocks
that seem specifically designed not to be scary.
After a brief spell of remembering how to make
a half-decent horror film, Hollywood seems to
be forgetting very quickly….
Rating:
* *
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